The Lovers
by sobeit
Summary: Michael's Thoughts During Graduation.


The Lovers  
  
By sobeit  
  
  
  
I clasped Max on the back, but I couldn't say goodbye. How do you say goodbye to your brother? It was easier to just hop on the back of the motorcycle and ride off. I didn't look back. I couldn't. What was there to look back at anyway? It was easier to just concentrate on the wind on my face, than on what I was leaving behind. Besides, it'd been my idea. I'd volunteered to be the first to go. It only made sense. Not like I had any big plans. No graduation. No family to say goodbye to. Except the ones I left on the canyon. So, in my own way, I guess I did say my goodbye. What was a goodbye but letting those you cared about know you were leaving? They knew. They heard. So why did I feel like I was heading in the wrong direction?  
  
Okay, so maybe I hadn't said goodbye to everyone. Maria had been there. So, she knew I was leaving, but I couldn't even look at her when I drove away. What was the use? After three years, hadn't we said all there was to say?  
  
She didn't know what she wanted. She wanted someone to tell her what to do. That's why she insisted I visit that stupid psychic. Trust the lovers? What the heck did she mean by that? Wasn't that what I'm doing? Liz and Max. Couldn't get more Lovers. Soul mates. Whatever. Than those two. They had said that the four of us would be killed. I believed them. So I did what the psychic wanted, right?  
  
I could have convinced Maria to go. She wanted someone to tell her what to do, and I could have done that. But eventually, everyone has to make that decision alone. I'd been given the chance twice. Once when I chose to stay with her instead of going to my home. And she knew how much I always needed that. But I needed her more.  
  
I guess that had been a bad decision. Look where we are now. She won't be with me and yet, she makes no real effort to be somewhere else. To be with someone else. I know she saw Billy in New York. Not that she told me, but I saw it. In a vision, right before I blew out every light in the city. But she didn't stay with him. She could have. If she really wanted to be away from me, away from the alien craziness, she could have stayed there with him. A nice normal, human boyfriend. One who would sing her songs and never shut her out. And he'd never put her life at risk.  
  
And now I'm making choice number 2. This time I chose to leave. Without her. Without anyone. I've always been on my own really. Knew it would come down to this eventually. Max has Liz. He'll be ok. Isabel has Jessie. He'll look out for her. She'll have the life she always wanted. Nice and normal.  
  
And Maria…maybe she will too. Maybe she'll go to college. But as far as I know, she didn't send out any college applications. If she had, she should have gotten a notice back by now. Liz had. Maybe she'll find Billy again and settle down, have kids, a house with a picket fence. The whole nine yards. Isn't that the expression? Or maybe she'll stay in Roswell, waiting on tables, waiting on us to return. Everyone's leaving her. Her one real fear finally realized.  
  
The Lovers. The card feels like it's burning a hole in my pocket. I should be miles away from Roswell by now and yet, I'm cruising down a street, I know like the back of my hand. I've been down this road so many times in the last three years. I could drive it blindfolded. Every twist, every curve. Is it the card keeping me here? Leading me back to her?  
  
I stop outside her house. Drive. Ride off into the fricking sunset. That's what I should be doing and yet, I'm not. I'm waiting for her to come out. And when she speaks to me, I know that she's right, that I came to say goodbye…and so much more.  
  
"This whole thing, our relationship, from the very beginning it's been screwed up. But I wouldn't change a second of it. It's meant everything to me. From the moment I kidnapped you and stole your car, I knew you were the only girl for me. I never wanted anyone else. I love you. So, just know wherever I'm at and whatever I'm doing that hasn't changed."  
  
I took off before she could respond. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. Those were my thoughts and my feelings. For once I was being honest without being forced into it. Now she knew. That's all I could ask. So I drive. Alone in the dark. And yet, the psyche keeps talking to me. I hear her words in my head over and over again. "Trust the lovers."  
  
What does she want from me? I'm at the county line, a few more miles and I'll be out of Roswell for good. I've tried this before. The time I hitchhiked out of Roswell. Something pulled me back then. Is it the same thing making me pull over now? Maybe I'll just wait here. Get my bearings. Figure out where I want to go.  
  
Trust the lovers. I am. I did. The lovers are together. They'll take care of each other. And yet, it feels wrong. Incomplete.  
  
The caravan drives past me. I always was good at fading into the night when I wanted to. This isn't good. Max and Liz were wrong. It's not 12 days until D-day. It's tonight. If they were wrong about that, were they wrong about other things?  
  
I pull out without thinking. Not sure what I'll do until I get there. Max has dimmed the lights. And I feel without looking that Maria and the rest have made it out. I'd know if it were otherwise. We ride to the meeting spot and I'm more relieved than I can say when I see her there. But I deflect it with false bravado. Just another mask to hide behind.  
  
This is the moment of truth. We're sticking together. I can't leave my brother, my sister behind, but that's not why I'm holding my breath. Choose Maria. And though I tell her to think carefully, what I mean is, this is forever. This is your choice.  
  
She comes to me. Wraps her arms around me and says she did think carefully. That come what may, we'll face it together. And then I knew.  
  
Trust the lovers. And I do. I trust you, Maria. I trust us.  
  
The end. 


End file.
